Avoiding negativity and staying true to yourself

This week I have found myself spouting that old chestnut ‘life is too short’ on repeat to myself and to my best friends. Those 4 little words couldn’t be more true and it’s great to remind ourselves during periods of negativity, drama or stress that there really is so much more to life than silly spats and unnecessary negativity.
Why waste energy on feeling angry? As I get older, it’s all becoming clearer – to be your happiest and most true self, it’s so important to fill your life with what matters to you. Should you care about the brands your wearing? The car you drive? The image you’re projecting out to others? In my eyes, no. You should care about how you feel inside. How you treat other people. Enjoying experiences you want to engage in and feeding your mind with a whole heap of goodness. A healthy mind creates a healthy outlook which has you feeling more fulfilled. Here are some ideas on how you can stay true to you, not get caught up on the insignificant things and work towards feeling more content with who you are and satisfied with what you have.

Don’t be afraid to speak your mind
This applies to so many areas of your life. I’ve been there, starting out in my first job, a puppet following other peoples directions and not having a voice. Now, I feel I can say no, ask for help and say my opinion. I’m valid, my voice counts towards something and at the end of the day, it’s my career and nobody elses. You should always feel confident in talking to your manager. The same applies to my closest friends, what’s the point in being friends with someone, if you can’t be completely open and honest with them? You should feel comfortable knowing your friends have your back, telling each other when you’re being silly or encouraging them when they need it. If you can’t speak your mind about something with your friends, when can you? Nobody has time for anything fake!

Stop apologising all the time.
Before now, it’s been ‘sorry I can’t make that’ or ‘sorry I’m late’. Try turning apologetic statements into positive ones. ‘Thanks for inviting me but I’m too busy that day, can we arrange another time?’. ‘Thanks for waiting for me’. It’s a simple trick, but changes your mindset and doesn’t leaving you feel bad about something you shouldn’t. Be unapologetic about who you are, do things to please you and don’t take on too much. There’s only so much one person can achieve in a day.

Pause. Breathe. Let it go.
There’ll be times when you’re so stressed or wound up or someone has said something to hurt you, that you can feel that fire in your belly and mind racing to respond. It’s so easy to jump in, speak first and regret it later. Instead, a lot can be said for silence. Pause, take a breath and remind yourself that horrible statements don’t stick and the anger will evaporate. We all have a line, but staying dignified always stands you in good stead.

Remind yourself of what really matters to you.
My family, my friends, cooking nice food, seeing the world, adventure, happiness, laughing until my tummy hurts, taking photos and making memories, petting dogs, a cat on my lap, wrapping up for long walks, booking another holiday, buying presents for my friends, listening to music, getting lost in a book. All these things are me. All these things bring me joy. Nothing superficial, nothing disposable. It all adds up to happiness. Think about the little things that give you the most joy. Do more of them.

Surround yourself with people that make you feel your happiest.
This is SO important and key to your mental health. There is zero point in hanging out with people if they make you feel uneasy or ostracised. Friends do not make you feel uncomfortable. They shouldn’t patronise or talk down to you but lift you up and watch you flourish. Competition is toxic and you should ask yourself whether someone is really worth your time. You need to hang out with those that understand you, are open with you and share the same values as you. I always come away from time with my girls and my sister with a smile on my face and a spring in my step.

Remember – the bad times are like clouds. They will pass.
Don’t despair, shitty times get easier. You just need to remember what is important to you and do things that make you feel content. It’s really not that difficult. Because let’s be honest, life really is too short to get hung up on facades and hold onto bad feelings. Be you, be true and don’t look back.

With love and plenty of positivity today

Tiff
xx

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