I’ve had a difficult couple of months mentally – finding it hard to love anything about myself and feel motivated to get on with day to day life. I was battling a horrible cold for the second time in a couple of months, I wasn’t well enough to work out regularly and my confidence took a dip. But enough of the moaning. The point is, I realised the way I was feeling wasn’t right and wasn’t good for me. I managed to pick myself back up, dust myself off and make changes that have helped me feel better about many aspects of my life.
I ordered ‘Body Positive Power’ by Megan Jayne Crabbe (a.k.a @bodyposipanda on instagram) and am SO happy I did. It has really spoken to me, helped me feel valued and not get carried away with feeling like a completely inferior potato whilst surrounded by perfection on social media. I’m still reading it and I’m discovering new things on every page – mainly that we have been duped into thinking our only goal in life is to be thin, thanks to the multi-billion pound diet industry.
A lot of my confidence issues stem from my looks. Same with the majority of women I suppose. Nothing new there. It just frustrates me that I sometimes let that define me as a person. I’ve let myself miss out on things in the past JUST because of my perception of my size – why?! For so long I have thought ‘when I’ve lost a few pounds, I can wear that/do that/be that’ – which is so utterly RIDICULOUS! It’s like I’m waiting for my life to start once I am a certain weight/size. I mean, writing that down and actually reading that back to myself is upsetting. I know I’m not the only one who must have felt this at some point or another. I’m nearly 24 and am only just getting comfortable with my looks and who I am. It will still take time, my twenties will be one big learning curve and I wouldn’t want it any other way. But as long as I keep striving to thrive in life and surrounding myself with my favourite people who keep supporting me – regardless of my size – I’m hoping I can overcome the insecurities and embrace what life is really about – LIVING it to the full!
Body positivity matters to me, because I don’t think anyone should feel less worthy because of how they look. But I’m also not stupid. I know that I will never live in a world where thin models and perfectly preened individuals aren’t put in front of me hundreds of times a day whether that be on instagram, television or advertisements. I just hope to not let this false perception of ‘perfection’ affect how I live my life and destroy any aspirations, dreams and determination that I have.
I may not be a model, but my lungs work, I can walk, I have a smile that people tell me is infectious and a cackle that tends to bound round the room and set other people off. I’m thankful that I can live my life without limits and have a job that I enjoy, a tight family unit and the most fun and supportive friends I could hope for. These things are what matter. Not the size jeans I wear or what state my skin is in. I may have scars and dimples and rolls but so fucking what. Judge me on me as a person and how I treat people, not on what my body looks like thank you very much.
I can’t recommend Megan’s book enough. I so wish I had read this at the start of secondary school! It’s what all pre-teens need to educate themselves on body image and that what we’re told, what we’re shown in the media, is not ‘the rules’. Who makes the rules about your body? YOU and you alone. It’s important to teach young adults that aspiring to be a size 6, perfectly contoured, toned and tanned human being just isn’t the reality of life. We should be aspiring to have strong friendships, enjoyable jobs, see new places and widen our horizons, rather than worrying about wearing a bikini or what we look like in that tagged photo on Facebook. It was my best purchase of the month and I’m going to post an honest review on Amazon once I’ve finished it because I love it that much. Maybe go check it out yourself HERE if you need some inspiration, encouragement and all round amazing words of wisdom.
With loads of love (for my mind and body),