My current situation: 23yo in a committed relationship with my bed and Netflix, regularly leaving the house to socialise with amazing friends, trying not to get swept up in finding ‘the one’ and validate my self worth by being coupled up.
Anyone else out there feeling like this?! Holla at me girlies! (And guys!). I love love love the idea of love, but lately, I’ve been feeling very happy about being single. It’s completely natural to feel that pull towards coupling up with someone; we sometimes feel biologically inclined to get together with someone and live happily ever after blah blah blah. HOWEVER, there is no age restriction on this. At nearly 24 years of age, I will not panic at the thought of not having been in a serious relationship for 18 months.
I’ve experienced both ends of the relationship spectrum – a 5.5 year long relationship with my childhood sweetheart, a couple of month long romances that had me all caught up and excited, oh and very turbulent and testing year with someone who only made me stronger. To say I am an expert on the topic of love and relationships is a major understatement. But what I do know is that since I discovered ‘boys’ back when I was 15 (WTF 9 YEARS AGO AHHHH) I have learnt a lot about who I am, what I want and who I can see myself with in the future. I don’t want to settle for any less than I deserve and neither should you!
Being single should definitely be EMBRACED! Do not fear being alone, because you are never alone! Family, friends, short-lived romantic encounters. You can get so much from these to keep you feeling on top!
Love really is a rollercoaster – of emotions, questions, happiness, sadness and it’s a game of give and take. It’s actually quite exhausting to keep up at times especially when things are heated, start quickly and move very fast!
Don’t get me wrong, having that someone to tell everything to (that isn’t your best mates, obviously) would be awesome. There is something pretty cool about having your own special person who gets your quirks, listens to your problems and who you fancy the friggin’ pants off. I miss that. I know for a fact that if I was hit in the face with feelings for someone, I’d go with it, want to see where it goes, not turn my nose up and ignore something that could potentially be amazing. But until that comes along, I won’t fret that I haven’t found someone to annoy on a more permanent basis just yet. I can do what I want, when I want and for how long I want without having to answer to anybody.
My sister and 3 of my best girls are that bit older than me, in their late twenties and are all suitably loved up – I in no way begrudge them that. In fact it brings me so much happiness knowing they’re happy and content and have found someone that loves and appreciates them for who they are! Even though I’d like to bring my special someone to a super quadruple date some day, that day doesn’t have to be now. I have plenty of other beautiful and amazing plus 1s that I can bring along (I’m looking at you Dan and Luce! ❤)
My point is, don’t compare yourself to others you know. Whether that be your siblings, your friends or even those people you stalk and seem to have everything sussed out on their instagram… embrace your reality! Build on your goals, set yourself challenges and look after your wellbeing. Say YES to everything – your twenties are for living and just because you don’t have a partner doesn’t mean you should miss out on anything!! Use this time to invest in yourself and your happiness. After all, if you don’t spend time on your own, how do you know what you REALLY like and dislike and what makes you tick?
Being single is a time for YOU and you only. You can please yourself, you have no ties, you can be there for your friends and still have loads of fun. For me now, this time is for exploring new places, doing countless cool things with friends and family, casually dating and just being myself. You learn more about yourself with each day that passes and I think being alone for a while makes you better at judging what you want, being in tune with how you feel and whether that certain someone is right for you. You’ll be surprised how resilient, independent and determined you’ll feel only relying on yourself and your choices for happiness!
With loads of love, still waiting for my chunk o’hunk (but totally not sweatin’ it!)